The Zapper

John is a mosquito magnet. He’s been this way since I’ve known him. No matter how much toxic bug repellent he slathers on, they still seem to love taking a bite out of him. Chiggers are worse, and wasps and bees buzz with delight when he walks outside.

It’s great for me being married to such a munchable man. Whenever I’m with him I never have to apply any kind of repellent. I just walk beside him and the flying beasties leave me alone. It’s sort of like hamburger vs. prime rib for them, I guess. It’s a no-brainer.